The MacLamity

The News That Stays News, Reported Live

Wednesday, October 20, 2004


Victorian ads from The Daily Telegraph:
"'PALMER'S PATENT LEG has attained a character unparalleled in the history of Anatomical Mechanism. It has been declared by competent judges to be the best artificial limb yet invented' (1855)
'Real Russian Ox Tongues, 21 shillings per dozen' (1862)
'TO MASTER CHEESEMONGERS - WANTED, by a steady Young Man, aged 18, a SITUATION in the above line. Twelve months good character in last situation' (1867)
'Engine driver wanted for steam plough. No letting out to hire' (1873)
'LIZZIE from CD - all has been arranged. All a hoax. Fear nothing; pray return. Mother dying. Baby ill. Fetch explanatory letters waiting at address named by you' (1882)
'CHRISTMAS OR WEDDING PRESENT - LUMINOUS PICTURES, visible at night or in the dark. Immense success in France' (1892)
'TOO THIN IN THE BUST - ladies desiring any improvement in this direction should send me stamp for free particulars of a simple, inexpensive, harmless self-treatment' (1897)
'LIVE FISH Best quality only. No cheap rubbish. 6lb, 2 shillings' (1902)
'ALCOHOL EXCESS AND DRUG HABITS cured at home, in three to seven weeks' (1904)
'LIVERPOOL VIRUS For the destruction of RATS AND MICE, may now be obtained READY PREPARED WITH THE BAIT' (1909)
'FUR CRUSADE against Horrors of Trapping and Skinning animals alive. Do please help - Major C Van Der Byl, Wappenham, Towcester' (1929)
'Business or Professional Women. A good appearance is your best introduction. Ugly nose-to-mouth lines and disagreeable frown lines create a bad impression. Have them smoothed away by the latest and wonderful treatment' (1934)."
Chris Ware and Alan Moore, the Victorians stole all your ideas!