The MacLamity

The News That Stays News, Reported Live

Monday, August 22, 2005

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Hamburgers join snowflakes and episodes of 'Extras' as things where no two are ever alike: "In Mississippi and Tennessee, he finds soy-meal-enhanced ''slug burgers'' and flour-and-water-cut ''dough burgers.'' (Fear not, Edge writes, ''the marriage of beef and extender need not be untenable.'') In south-central Connecticut, he finds hamburgers that are steamed. (When cheese is melted on a ''steamer,'' a makeshift metal box that fits on the stove, it takes on ''that Play-Doh-warmed-in-the-microwave mouth feel.'') In Texas, he finds refried beans and sometimes Fritos and Cheez Whiz adorning a bean burger. (Edge prefers this name to the too-literal ''tostada burger,'' explaining that ''localized fanaticism is predicated upon peculiar local knowledge. And the term 'bean burger' is cryptic enough to inspire a tight fraternity of devotees.'')"